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Mini Ha-Ha


My little red Honda XR75 is just utterly brilliant. No faff with helmets, no crazy car drivers, just jump on and ride like a loon round and round the garden. Plus it has the added bonus of making me a contender for the best Uncle award, if, indeed, there is such a thing.

I remember pestering my parents for five or six years, 'Please can I have a moto bike, pretty please?' My father finally relented and said, 'Son, of course you can have one, now that you’re 23, as soon as you move out.' Pah.

OK, it took a few good years of buying house accoutrements before I could afford a mini bike, but by the age 44 I finally had one. Yup, I know, I’m just one of life's high achievers.

And being a Honda it's super reliable. Never, ever lets me down. Ever. Except this weekend it did. It’d sat for months unused, unloved, waiting to be thrashed round the garden by some ham-fisted yob. Or indeed someone else. I had to get it fixed, as family members' kids were coming over and in a bid to win their attention from their tablets and iphones, a mini motor bike is surely my best shot.

I’d diagnosed the non-starting immediately, without any reasonable evidence or investigation that it was a fuel problem, to be a fuel problem. Bound to be isn’t it? You know it is. My wife thought the same when she shouted over to me, 'Shit in the carb.' Err, I don’t think that’ll help, but thanks anyway.

Anyway after spilling a good amount of fuel over myself and blowing on various carb components (not sure why, but I’ve seen people who seem to know what they’re doing try it) it turned out to be a non-sparky spark plug. Whaddayaknow?

Kids turn up and I’m too excited to wait, they’re immediately thrown onto a mini bike and given extensive and thorough instructions into riding a motorcycle. 'Twist that, let that one out and jiggle that one with your foot and before you hit that fence over there, turn”. Told you it was thorough.

They take to it in a way, that only kids can. Which is immediately and with a, laissez faire attitude for personal safety. Excellent. In no time at all they’re flying round, laughing and screaming, a bit like I do.

And for the next hour they’re having great fun, until the inevitable happens. They’re having such a good time that they need to stop and Facebook it. Kids eh!

But then I’m writing about it for blog, so maybe grown-ups today, eh?

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